abandon thought and let the dream descend
by katanafleet
Summary: "There is one more that could go with you," Regina mused. Hook. The three of them piled into the Bug as the curse crawled closer, consuming all in its path. Hook replaced his hook with a fake hand. Emma stared back at her parents, Henry at his father and Regina, but Hook watched her face. When the first tear escaped, he brushed it away so carefully. [s3 au]
1. Chapter 1

There was room for another in Emma's Bug—just one more.

Henry timidly asked Neal. Since he hadn't been included in the first curse, he could escape this one. But Neal, seeing Emma's reluctant face, sadly refused his son.

Never could she trust him again, nor would she ever exactly like his presence in her son's life. Neal knew it and decided to return to the Enchanted Forest, maybe look for his father with Belle.

"There is one more that could go with you," Regina mused.

Hook.

The three of them piled into the Bug as the curse crawled closer, consuming all in its path. Hook replaced his hook with a fake hand. Emma stared back at her parents, Henry at his father and Regina, but Hook watched her face. When the first tear escaped, he brushed it away so carefully.

Regina raised her hands and blasted her magic into Pan's curse.

They crossed the town line.

Emma smiled at Killian. Killian grinned at her and leaned over to brush her lips with his. "How much longer?" Henry groaned. "If you guys keep doing that I'll get out and walk."

"Three hours, lad," Killian said. "Unless your mother gets us lost once more."

"We weren't lost," Emma protested.

Henry scoffed. "We totally were," he replied with a grin in his voice.

A year later, Emma and Killian were out in the heart of New York City, enjoying a night without a hyperactive ten-year-old interrupting their dinner. It was a celebration of their four-year anniversary. The longest relationship Emma had ever had or dreamed she could have.

There were days when she liked Killian Jones. -There were days when she barely tolerated him. Then there were those days when she loved him, loved him so much.

They strolled home in the moonlight. They lived in an apartment Emma had found cheap and had planned to live in with just Henry. Then Killian's apartment in Boston had burned and he had had no place to live, and since they had been dating off and on for more than three years, Emma invited him to live with her and her son.

Not an easy step, of course, but Killian was a wonderful housemate and boyfriend. He and Henry adored each other and was the closest thing her kid had to a father. Neal had abandoned her in jail and didn't know that Henry existed.

Killian had lost his left hand in an accident that killed his brother Liam and his girlfriend Milah. The disaster had led to a fair amount of alcohol, women, and a strangely moving tattoo on his right forearm. And the same brokenness that Emma herself had.

Kindred spirits indeed.

They wandered home in silence, Emma's hand tucked into his arm and the ring he had given her two weeks previously glittering on her finger.

They had been enjoying a lazy day in the apartment, Henry out playing with Avery or some other friend, when he abruptly got down on one knee and, without another word, proposed. It was a bit of a shock to Emma, who stood staring down at him openmouthed for a moment before insulting him, saying yes in a rush, letting him put the ring on her finger, and grabbing him for a kiss that lasted for quite some time.

In short, yeah, she was going to marry him. Emma hadn't even had to think about it—staying with him forever seemed so right, which was both terrifying and comforting to the little lost girl.

"Dad!"

"Yes, lad?"

"I'm gonna be late for school!"

Killian groaned and Emma smiled. It was two months after their dinner out, and the soon-to-be Swan-Jones family was enjoying a cuddly morning on the couch. Killian had made his not-really famous scrambled eggs—but they should have been: he always put cheese and sausage into them and Emma sometimes teased him and said that the scrambled eggs were why she was marrying him—and they ate breakfast as a little family, as usual. Henry had run off to get ready for school and Killian had called after him that he, the as-of-three-months-weeks-ago fiancé-of-his-mother and therefore dad, would take him to school.

Killian got up slowly and reluctantly, kissed Emma on the cheek, and ushered Henry out the door. Emma had straightened up the apartment and had started on a load of Henry and Killian's dirty clothes from their muddy soccer game the day before when the doorbell rang.

"Emma Swan," the old bearded man at the door said without preamble. "Do you remember anything about Storybrooke?"

Emma leaned against the doorframe and stared him down. He had eyes that saw through her. They were eyes that knew exactly who she was and what she was capable of. She didn't like it. Not at all. "What's Storybrooke?" she asked mildly.

"Your home. Storybrooke has returned, and your family needs you."

"My family's right here," she replied, getting a little disturbed. "Who are you?"

"I am a guardian, a watcher, a recorder. You need to return to Storybrooke. After you catch your skip today, find me at the entrance to the zoo. I am not going to hurt you, Emma, or Killian Jones and your Henry." His voice became a whisper. "Trust me."

Without another word, the old man turned and walked down the hallway. Emma watched him go, just a bit angry and somewhat perturbed. He was clearly insane, since she was an orphan, had nobody in the world but Killian and Henry, and had never heard of this Storybrooke.

Emma slammed the door and dressed for finding her skip. She didn't want to go see the old man, or talk to him, or figure out what the hell he meant by Storybrooke and her family, or even think about him again. The most annoying thing about the whole situation was that she was going to go talk to him.

This perp was stupid, ran at first chance straight into an alley. She handcuffed him, took him to jail, and drove to the zoo, cursing herself and the old man the whole way. The old man was sitting on a bench next to the gate.

"Good afternoon, Emma." He glanced at her purse. "I am not insane; therefore the cuffs and Taser are unnecessary. I will not attack you or anything you clearly anticipate. Instead, I wish to give you this."

He reached into his pocket and drew out a small blue bottle. "This is memory potion. It will restore the memories that have been buried."

Normally, Emma would cuff the madman and call the police. However, she found herself listening. The man's voice was trustworthy and she could knock him down with one blow if she needed to. They both knew she had the power in the situation. "Buried memories?" she asked.

"You know that there's something not right about this life. You know, deep down, that you met Killian in very different circumstances. You know that you have another family to protect. You know that the life you remember, the life you have always known, is a lie. This potion will reveal those hidden years of your life."

The most disturbing thing was that he was right. Many nights, she dreamed of a different life. Henry knocked on her door and brought her to a strange little town, she fought with the mayor, she broke a curse, she and another woman fell through a portal to a new land, where she met a man dressed in medieval clothing, tied to a tree. She dreamed of climbing a beanstalk with Killian. She dreamed of his hook, of a town where he came back for her, and of a place that could only be Neverland. She knew that he dreamed of this life too, a life where he lost his brother in Neverland, where he was a pirate, trying to kill a man in retaliation for Milah's death, and where he met Emma on a beanstalk and she changed his life. They had talked and laughed about their dreams, not daring to think about the realness of them. The fact that they felt more like memories than dreams.

She stared at the man's peaceful yet tormented eyes, eyes that saw into her past and mourned it, eyes that knew everything she had been thinking of—and took the little bottle. He nodded solemnly. And then she popped open the bottle and drank the mouthful of vinegar-like liquid within

— _Henry at her door—_

— _Mary Margaret smiling—_

— _Regina glaring—_

— _David's hugs—_

— _Neal falling through the portal—_

— _Hook—Killian Jones—holding a dagger to his neck—sitting on his hospital bed—kissing him in Neverland—_

" _Take Hook with you, Emma. The three of you, make your own happy ending." Snow's voice, shaking despite her firm expression, rushed through her head._

 _David shook Hook's hand: good luck and a warning. "Take care of them, Hook."_

" _I swear on my life," he whispered, squeezing David's hand in return._

 _David nodded, releasing Hook and pushing him to Emma's side._

She stood and stared down at the man, who now smiled wanly. "Who are you?"

"For now, what I told you earlier must suffice. I am a watcher and a recorder. Return to Storybrooke, Emma. I have no more potion, but I have faith that Hook and Henry shall follow you to the ends of the earth. You need them, saviour, as much as they need you; never forget that. Return to Storybrooke with Killian and your son, and save your family."

She nodded, tried not to run to her car, and drove back to her apartment, probably breaking several traffic laws in her haste. Once she arrived at home, she paced the floor, watching the clock until Killian got home from work. When he stepped into the apartment, she ran into his ever-welcoming arms. Emma wasn't going to think about them right then, if their relationship was valid, if she loved him—she knew she did, and that scared her so very much—but she could always count on him. Her Killian. Her Captain Hook.

"What is it, love?" he asked, picking up on her tension and pulling her into him as tightly as she was clutching him.

"We have to leave," she whispered into his chest, trying to comfort herself with the scent of him and the strength she could always count on. "I found my family, and they're in Storybrooke, Maine."


	2. Chapter 2

They left the next morning. They retraced their journey to New York and drove into Storybrooke that night. Killian sensed her unease and didn't grill her about this family she had found.

Emma parked on the street. "I'm going to go find them," she whispered. Henry was asleep. "Stay with the kid for now. I'll text you or come back in an hour."

Killian leaned over the stick shift and kissed her firmly. "Be careful, Swan," he warned. She rolled her eyes—infuriatingly protective, as always, her pirate—but kissed him again before leaving the car.

She ran to Snow and Charming's apartment, wondering what kind of danger they could be in. David opened the door.

"Hey. Don't close the door! My name is—"

"Emma," he exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug and cradling her head in his hand. "How did you come back?"

"I drove. Killian's in the car with Henry. Where's Mary Margaret?"

Mary Margaret waddled down the stairs, and, observant as ever, noticed the ring even as she leaned over her stomach to hug Emma. Good heavens, her mother was pregnant. "Emma! Did you get engaged?" she asked, surprise laced in her happy tone. Good heavens, she was getting a little brother or sister. A little brother or sister that would be younger than her own kid.

"I did, yeah." She really didn't want to get into this, not with the pirate fiancé in her car and her shock over her imminent sibling. "But the man who gave me the memory potion said that you were in danger. What's going on?" She pushed her dilemma with Killian to the back of her mind again.

"We don't know. We woke up this morning with no memory of the past nine months, at least. It seemed like an ordinary day," David said, clearly holding himself back from asking about this fiancé.

"Except it clearly wasn't," Mary Margaret put in, rubbing her hand over her stomach.

Emma sighed. "It's been a year since I crossed the town line with Killian and Henry. Someone cursed you and erased the whole year."

"Who could have done this?" Mary Margaret, the impossible optimist, whispered.

Leroy burst into the flat. "Two more missing, your majesties. We're down to four." He noticed Emma. "How did _you_ get here?"

"I got a memory potion and drove back. You said people are missing. Who?"

"Dwarves," David said. "It's been hard to keep track of everyone, but we think some people have been disappearing since we got back."

Emma glanced at Mary Margaret. "Neal?"

"No sign of him yet," she replied encouragingly, glancing to David who shook his head. "But he'll show up, Emma, don't worry."

"Smart money's on he's missing too," Leroy put in.

"Leroy!" Snow reprimanded.

"By the way, who are you engaged to?" David asked, crossing his arms and trying to look threatening.

Emma stood and followed Leroy to the door. "It's not important. I'll tell you tomorrow. Look, I've got to get a room at Granny's. Killian and Henry—there was only enough memory potion for one."

They made quick plans to meet for breakfast, and, David's protests at a single room ignored, Emma escaped.

Killian was standing outside the Bug, Henry still asleep inside. He kissed her forehead when she hugged him. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not okay." She pulled away. "I found Mary Margaret and David, and we're going to get a room at the B&B, stay for a bit."

"Good thing I took off a week at work, hmm?" He searched her eyes and hopped back into the Bug and they drove to Granny's. Blessedly, Granny pretended not to recognize them—bless her parents for probably having called ahead and informed Granny of the recent memory loss developments—and gave Emma the same room she'd had so long ago when Henry called her to Storybrooke.

Emma woke up curled into Killian's side as she always did back in New York. She snuggled back into his embrace. She was going to stay in bed for as long as she could until Henry woke up. Unfortunately, her brain didn't go back to sleep.

She didn't know what was going to happen between them when Killian eventually got his memories back, if he did really love her, if her parents would approve, if—she could feel herself tensing up from psyching herself out. She was still an orphan, really, even with parents and a son and a pirate who did, currently at least, love her more than anything else. She pressed herself further into his side with a small sigh.

"Love?" Killian's gruff voice whispered.

"Hey," she replied, keeping her voice low to avoid waking the kid.

Killian rolled them over until Emma was halfway on top of him. She giggled and kissed him. She wasn't going to worry about them right now. She wasn't going to worry about them, she reminded herself as he kissed her again.

Henry groaned. "I am right here, lovebirds," he moaned.

"Would you look at that, darling," Killian mock-whispered. "There's a teenager in the room."

"Indeed there is," she said, kissing him one last time and sitting up. She peered down at Henry and smiled at his sleep-rumpled hair.

Killian and Henry stood in unison and stretched. Emma waved them off to the bathroom and dashed out of the room as soon as she got dressed.

Ruby greeted her with a huge hug. "When did you get back?" she asked.

"Last night. Listen, Ruby, I've got Killian and Henry up there, and they don't remember anything about Storybrooke or anything. So don't—"

"Pretend I don't recognize them," Ruby finished. Then she noticed the ring and her eyes widened. "Did you and Hook—?"

"Yes," Emma said curtly. Ruby squealed and hugged her again. Emma couldn't help a pleading look to not make a big deal out of everything and Ruby rolled her eyes but let everything go for a while. So Emma hoped.

Killian and Henry made their way down the stairs, shoving at each other the whole way. Ruby gawked at Killian in his modern clothing.

Emma couldn't help but grin. Yeah, the pirate in the modern shirt that wasn't quite buttoned up enough was all hers. Killian grabbed her hand and kissed the back, giving a nod to Ruby, who shot a thumbs-up at Emma the moment Killian looked away.

The three of them sat in the corner booth and waited for Mary Margaret and David. Emma had just finished explaining to a dubious Killian that the three of them had met in school, had lost contact, and Emma had just found them again when the two entered the diner.

David's eyes immediately zoomed in on Henry instead of Killian. _Safe_.

Mary Margaret's eyes zoomed in on the arm that Killian had around Emma's shoulders. Emma winced. _Very bad_.

"I'm Mary Margaret Blanchard," her mother said to Killian. "And you are?"

Her mother was not subtle by any stretch of the imagination. Emma barely stopped a groan and a connection between head and table.

Killian moved his arm from behind Emma's shoulders and shook Mary Margaret's offered hand. "Killian Jones. Pleasure."

"And this is David Nolan," Emma interjected. David finally saw Killian and barely restrained the glare. The two men shook hands civilly. Emma breathed a sigh of relief.

Ruby bounced over with hot chocolate with cinnamon for all, almost greeting Henry by name, a slip that Henry himself didn't notice but Killian did. He glanced questioningly at Emma, who could only pat his hand comfortingly.

"Mom was telling me and Dad how you two met her," Henry led with.

David and Mary Margaret raised their eyebrows at Emma and the word _Dad_. Oh, right. Neal. This was going to be a right bloody mess, as Killian said whenever Emma caught him and Henry doing something like cooking cookies just after school or Nerf guns or making a sheets and pillows fort around the whole apartment.

Emma rolled her eyes and they didn't say anything about _Dad_. Bless them. They were about to start talking about who knows what—Emma just wanted out of this diner and back to New York or anywhere with Killian and Henry—when a mug shattered behind her and they all jumped.

Regina stared at Henry, her eyes huge and just about to run over with tears. Emma stepped over to her. "He looked right through me," Regina whispered.

"Because he doesn't remember you. Henry and Killian don't remember anything."

Regina huffed, her tears gone again, probably by sheer willpower. "But clearly you do."

"A strange man gave me memory potion and, like a five-year-old being offered candy, I took it. There was only enough for one person."

"Well, how convenient," Regina sighed. Emma couldn't think of anything else to say, so she rocked on her heels and waited. Nothing else.

Just before she returned to her family, she turned back to Regina. "Why did you make me and Killian have a romantic past?"

"What?"

"To Killian and Henry, we've been dating about four years."

Regina smiled weakly. "You cannot tell me that you don't love the pirate."

Emma waved her ring at the queen. Regina's smile grew. "I thought you two made an excellent couple and making you have a romantic history ensure that neither of you would run away from each other."

Emma rolled her eyes and escaped the hallway. She pushed Killian over and leaned her head down on his shoulder, her hands cupped around her hot chocolate which had a suspicious valley in the top, like someone had taken a dollop of it away with their finger, her ring glimmering in the light from the window. And that's when David finally connected the last dots.

"Are you two engaged?"

Emma, Killian, Henry, and Mary Margaret, all with varying degrees of smiles—Henry's huge and happy, Mary Margaret's slightly suspicious, Killian's nearly scared, and Emma's "darn he finally realized"— nodded. David glared at Killian.

"Problem, mate?" Killian asked, getting on the defensive that probably no one but Henry and Emma could recognize as such.

Emma shook her head infinitesimally and David dropped it. "No problem. Emma just didn't mention who she was engaged to."

Killian raised one slightly hurt eyebrow. "For goodness' sake," Emma said, rolling her eyes again and leaning in and kissing Killian soundly.

When she pulled away, Emma saw Regina staring longingly at Henry and, deciding to focus on repairing that relationship rather than dealing with the shocked looks of her parents, stood and pulled her over.

"Henry and Killian, this is Regina Mills. She's the mayor."

Regina extended her hand to Killian gracefully, then let her eyes feast on Henry's face for a moment before Henry offered his own hand. "Hi. I'm Henry," he said politely before turning back to his hot chocolate.

"Killian Jones, pleasure," Killian said, his manners impeccable as always with someone in a smile-and-run relationship with the law. Nothing like memories of one arrest and the reality of one's fiancée being a bail-bondswoman.

Regina nodded at Killian and stared at Henry for a few more seconds before glancing congenially at Snow and Charming and walking away, leaving the diner with the jingle of the bell. Killian also noticed Regina's longing stare and raised an eyebrow at Emma, who could only pat his bicep and mouth "It's okay."


End file.
